Imagine You're Making Something...

Life is made up of a series of moments. There isn't a single person who is exempt from experiencing both sides to life; good and bad. The fascinating part of the equation is the time at which good or bad happens. You can have a long streak of nothing but great experiences, you can have a long streak of bad experiences, or you can have moment-to-moment experiences of good, then bad, then good, then bad. Some say ("some" meaning my lovely husband) that most of it is in the mind. You might have a bad experience, but the only way it can affect you negatively is if you allow it. I'm fascinated by the human existence. It is a series of choices, a series of moments, a series of literally a million different things all happening at once. Most humans are multi-tasking even when they don't realize it (and even those who declare themselves to be the WORST when it comes to multi-tasking - referring to myself). For example, as I'm typing this, sitting in bed, leaning back against the wall that our bed sits against, eyes closed, not only am I deep in thought about what I'm saying and feeling, but I'm also thinking about the fact that it's too hot under this blanket but I don't want to take the blanket off because then the laptop will be sitting directly on my legs which will then make me.... well, hot. "Catch 22" - Michael Scott.  Fascinating. And as you're reading this (those of you who are), you're probably also thinking about something else, however subconsciously. Maybe you're thinking about the fact that your leg itches, or maybe your mind is unintentionally lingering on harsh words someone spoke to you recently that you're still fuming over.

Regardless, I'm attempting (in circles) to get the point across that life is, for lack of a more articulate word, fascinating.

I've heard it said that there are feelers and there are thinkers. Obviously it is possible to be a mix of both, but I can say without a doubt that I am a feeler. I am not a thinker. Your thinking process is supposed to drive your emotions. You're "supposed" to be able to use logic to determine how to feel, and therefore how to react about something. For me it's the other way around. And this is without question. I am hyper-sensitive to everything. Even more disturbing, this is me years after coming to this realization about myself, therefore after years of intentionally trying to make myself more of a "thinker". Yet I am still a mess. And to be quite honest with you, I'm rather okay with being a mess. It's natural to me to have my thoughts and emotions jumbled together, intertwined with each other and wrapped around one another too far passed the point of getting any of it untangled.

My mind just leapt to memories of working at a jewelry repair shop; wearing my magnifying-glass spectacles as I attempted to unravel a tangled necklace. I still get sick pleasure from untangling things. Material things. Clearly, I've not mastered untangling my thoughts. This is no secret.

Back on point, life is indescribable. And as a hyper-sensitive feeler, it is a mangled web. As a believer, I am in awe of His creation. Constant self-reflection tends to point me only to Him. Close your eyes and think of absolutely nothing for five seconds. Then close your eyes and think of absolutely everything - everything you have going on, everything on your to-do list, everything that's making you feel sad, everything that's making you feel happy, everything that's weighing on your shoulders, everything you've been contemplating. There is an emotion attached to each thought. Sadness, loss, thankfulness, anxiety, pressure, joy, love, hurt. I just don't understand how we can all be apart of this world (stop singing the Little Mermaid song and focus) where we are so exponentially small and seemingly insignificant... and not embrace that we were beautifully and wonderfully and specifically made completely indivdiual from every other person that exists. Those of you in the medical field MUST know that there is an exact science to the way we function. Is it just coincidence that we were made with a grip of fat and muscle on our rear end to make it more comfortable to sit down? Did that just happen by chance when we were formed by "some kind of single-celled object"? Was it by chance that we had hair grow above our eyes to keep sweat from falling directly into them? How is it that our organs are all made to each play a vital role in our being alive. We were specifically designed. We were carefully crafted.

Imagine you're making something. Something very special. Something that you pour everything into - so much so that you even make it in your image and specifically give it your likeness. This is something that you treasure. This is something that you adore to a point that words couldn't possibly explain. You want to spend your time with your creation, you want to admire it. Imagine the feeling of that beautiful, special treasure wanting nothing to do with you; even denying your existence; denying it was made by you.  Even denying that it is special at all. It looks for love from other sources because you're not good enough.


Imagine. Though, you'll never really be able to imagine. Nor will I. You were made. You were carefully crafted to be able to think and feel and have particular passions and skills and a one-of-a-kind personality. 

This life is so precious. Being alive is so precious. Throughout coincidences and choices, as life is beautiful and as life is tragic, remember that you were made by the most brilliant Maker. He is so in love with you and proud of you. He doesn't ask for anything in return, He doesn't need any of our favors or any of our religious obligations. He just wants us to acknowledge Him, love Him and be thankful to Him for choosing us, the undeserved, to play a role in His epic story. And it sure is one EPIC story. 



This is supposed to be a craft blog. But honestly, it's just an everything blog. Just a heads up for you.